Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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