She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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