There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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