I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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