How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
