absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
