wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
