I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
