Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This is my gift to your gina
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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