I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
