apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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