I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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