I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
