I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
