is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize