Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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