I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
the night ended with taco bell and tears
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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