She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
