So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
