i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think people are normalizing furries
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
