Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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