I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
