somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
