try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Help. Why am I so naked?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
