Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
