I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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