So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
