I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
