Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
