sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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