I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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