The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Someone stole a lamp last night.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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