I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
