The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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