Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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