And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize