i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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