walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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