There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
