my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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