having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
