Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
