We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize