Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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