So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
