i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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