I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Fuck appropriateness.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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