Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
