is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
