it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
