You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
