Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
