so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
