So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
