Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
