i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
