so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize