So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
