You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
