...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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