I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
