Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
