If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
